A Friday night after a week of non-stop sarging in Malaga and I had plans for a quiet night in and a watch of the Rockford Files. I have a big day with my girlfriend Katya tomorrow. I haven’t seen her for two weeks, since I have been in Spain and she was in Moscow.
But a quiet night it wasn’t to be. The Sarge School web-site went live this week and TonyT had every intention of celebrating. Bringing round pizza, beer and his laptop so we could set up his Sarge School email address.
It got to 2300 and TonyT had me in a loud bar in South Wimbledon, Henry J Bean, full of HBs, but I was all about going to bed. Look I had had a big week, Perry and I went to Malaga for just under 7 days and we opened 100 sets each – in Spanish. Neither of us speak Spanish. Sarging was bottom of my agenda.
So here’s how the set went.
Set: 2 set. HB 7 and HB 8.
They were sat in a quiet open area of the bar, on comfortable settees. We sauntered by and took the opposing settee. We asked if the seats were free, like an AFC would, they said they were, we sat down and proceeded to ignore them and continue our very active conversation. This surprised them as they were expecting to be hit on. Straight away TonyT and I had turned the game on it’s head.
We spent 15 minutes discussing a true situation. I saw a girl on Facebook called Crystal Wok, we had mutual friends. I ended up chatting to her but it turns out an old school friend was trying to pull her. An AFC back in Manchester named Marc. I wasn’t really gaming Crystal, but Marc thought I was and got upset. TonyT reckoned I had pulled my mates bird, I didn’t think so. All I did was email Wok and say ;You have a name like a Chinese Restaurant, what do you think about that?’.
And that’s our opener. After 15 minutes of complete satisfaction, energy and excitement in our own company, TonyT threw the opener.
Tony is an expert in body language, vocal technique and core masculine/feminine values. He cut their conversation short.
Leant back, deep voice - ‘Listen to this’.
They shut up and leant forward. Tony was now in set.
The girls had been expecting us to talk to them, but we didn’t. We gave them AFC, but quickly took it away. For the whole 15 minutes they were constantly aware of our presence and the longer we went on the more they were aching for our attention.
It’s important to know – the 15 minutes wasn’t a vibe of us building our courage up. It was two guys, in their own space and time, enjoying a fun night out and a fun conversation. The girls quickly realised this and the frame shifted from the AFC pickup, to the high value men of intrigue.
So we ran the opener, and ran it to hookpoint. Just as the opener got tired, we started to guess here the girls were from. Not in a hoop jumping way, in a niece teasing way. By the time we sussed they were French and Polish, we were well at hook point.
We turned away and resumed our chat, letting the girls feel what it was like to lose our value.
At this point we know that we’re solid in this set. We were the guys they had gone out that night to meet. Attraction was built. I had already thrown a DHV to Tony (it was his set, he opened) about his ex girlfriend, a model (true, we don’t lie in set, all our DHVs are true).
So what do you do in set? You ask yourself – have I built attraction. If the answer is yes, you move on.
Have I qualified?
She asked us how we knew each other. Tony’s set, a perfect DHV chance for the wing to take.
I explained we knew each other through Tony’s dancing. Explaining Tony is a dance instructor. Poland jumped on it, she loved dance, she loved salsa.
This is qualification NOT comfort. An AFC would jump at the chance to build rapport. But now is not the time to build rapport. Build attraction, qualify, build rapport.
Tony used the fact she liked to dance as a qualification. He showed minimal interest, he wasn’t keen to build rapport. Of course she likes to dance, what girl doesn’t. Poland was qualifying herself.
‘We’re going to come on Tuesday’.
By now the sets over bar the shouting. But in our 2 years of constant sarging we have learnt from our mistakes. Girls forget. What they love in the moment is meaningless one hour later. Tony needs to build comfort.
I was looking now for isolation opportunities; it was going to be hard. But it’s important not to be dogmatic with the Mystery Method. It’s a wonderful thing, but you can bend and break the rules. It’s a guidebook, not a rulebook. Tony saw a chance to use NLP to create an emotional spike. The girls started to talk about Poland and Tony threw in a story about when he had been with the Chanel chick. Describing the sights, sounds, the feelings, he brought the target (the one from Poland) into a genuine state of excitement. Tony shared, Poland felt it.
Next came the best bit. The girls wanted us to go to Bar Sia with them. Tony told them to sling it. It wasn’t his scene. This girl was wrapped up. She had met the man of the year. She could see 2009 unfold in Tony’s company. We had to do nothing.
Before they left, we number closed. I’ll keep you posted.