I won’t give her name, though I am tempted. But she is on Facebook, Linked In, etc. It wouldn’t take much for someone to email her. You can actually buy posters with this chick on them.

Selfridges – Saturday.

I was teaching a bootcamp. 1:1 with a really cool guy who I’d got two number closes the night before. The boot didn’t kick off until 6pm but I’d asked who was up for day game while we waited, I had the Saturday to kill. So we were in Selfridges by 2pm.

We’d only been in 2 or 3 minutes. And there she was. 6 foot crazy, expensive clothes, killer legs, banging arse. A 9.

I offered her to the student, he said no he wanted me to do it - So in I went.

She was carrying a frankly disgusting tartan bag. So I rolled up, beard, flat cap, enormous duffle coat. Like a throw-back to mid 90s when every Northerner wanted to be Liam Gallagher.

Opener was – Eye contact, deep voice. Pauses. ‘I’m not sure you’re the right person to ask, judging by... (glance) that bag (pulls silly face). But I’m looking for a cool present for my sister. She’s about your age.

‘What age would that be’.

‘Late thirties, early forties’.

As soon as I saw the smile coming, I hit her on her arm, but quite hard. Harder than I intended.

So we got straight into banter. And I was bossy, interrupting, slightly shouty (cause I was trying to make sure the student could hear). Rock solid eye contact.

I was counting IOIs and DHVing about my family. But I was practically staring this girl down. I am 6 foot 3 and she was as tall as me.

I kept teasing her, gentle negs, breaking her frame. She started kino pinging.

I was 5 minutes in and had multiple IOS, so I went into qualifying. Can she dance – spin manoeuvre. I then jabbed her in the ribs.

She said Owww, I laughed. Put my arm round her, pulled her in, said ‘you’re just a big baby’. Then pushed her off so she fell face first into a pile of socks.

I was going over the top. I was totally losing it, and the more I was like it the more she liked me.

I qualified her, then gave her the big moment – ‘hey, you’re actually kinda cool, where’s your accent from?’

Latvia. Languages, speaks German and Russian – just like me – I break open the languages and we’re in comfort.

I threw some NLP – when you meet someone you like, and you feel that excitement rising, blah blah.

Then I said, good to meet you and walked off.

One step, two step. Three steps and no call back.

But she was watching, so I turned walked back and said – ‘what, you’re going actually let me go without giving me your number’?

She said – ‘So that’s what you’re doing, you’re walking round Selfridges collecting phone numbers off girls’.

This is frame test. How you handle this cements or destroys attraction.

‘Yes I am and I will probably get 5 or 6 and I’ll only call my favourite, which probably won’t be you. But hey... You don’t buy a ticket you can’t win the raffle’.

Passed her the phone. She typed the digits. It’s been a while since my hand shook while I got a number close.

What’s your last name I asked (she had only given me her first).

‘I am not going to tell you’.

Fine , I said. I’ll just choose one for you. R – A – T.

She gasped, she laughed. And I walked off.

She shouted after me, ‘I’m going to go home and count the bruises on my arm’. I shouted back ‘you’re a dick head’.

She texted me all day Saturday, all day Sunday, all day Monday and Tuesday until she flew back to Latvia. She was trying to get me to go on a date and although I was up for it, I just couldn’t fit her in.

Obviously I am going to add her on Facebook in a few days.

I googled her name. Holy shamoly. She’s the Latvian version of Abi Titmus, only pretty!

One thing I have been doing this last year. As soon as I get a number close, literally within about 5 minutes of leaving her, I send this text, to her, tongue in cheek, as if I meant to email a friend.

‘Hi mate, I just met this chick. She’s very sweet, I liked her, but she had this God awful pair of trousers on/crazy pair of shoes/had a ridiculous comedy accent (or whatever I had been teasing her about) and I am convinced she is one of those sex perverts. Should I date her?’

100% have texted me back within 10 minutes and continued texting until we meet. And it feels like we know each other really well. Great way to build comfort.

Try it.