I was apprehended by a fairly young, well dressed guy in a busy night club as I stood alone waiting for my friend.
He made immediate physical contact, grabbing my arm (too familiar) he told me it was his birthday and he would like a birthday kiss.
I quite liked his confidence. I said “I may consider giving you a birthday kiss on the cheek if you give me a slice of homemade birthday cake” ( Note to boys: most girls genuinely like cake – they like eating it and they like talking about it) – I would have LOVED it if he had made some comment about baking a cake, perhaps describe it, ( this is because it would show that he is not afraid to admit to doing really unmasculine things like baking and it makes him seem more approachable, it conjures up a slightly silly image – he could have mentioned wearing a pinny or something ridiculous – it shows he is happy to mildly poke fun at himself.
Girls like men that can cook they like hearing about cooking and ingredients and taste, they love it if men talk passionately about food, plus if they cook cakes that would be amazing!!. Alternatively he could have mentioned childhood birthday cakes or talked about blowing out the candles and making a wish. There are so many avenues of unstandard small talk he could have explored. Girls like a bit of Imagination.
In fact what happened was… he ignored this comment and said “so whats your name” – Because I wasn’t finding him fun and was slightly annoyed that he didn’t acknowledge my comment I told him my real name cause I couldn’t be bothered to make something up. I was ready to leave. He said “I’m (can’t remember his name – that’s a bad sign) and I play football for Watford, I am a centre back (or something like that) you might recognise my picture from the local paper. ( note to boys: SOME girls like football – It would be stereotypical to suggest that all girls hate football quite a few can muster up some enthusiasm for big England games once every ( three??) years but on the whole its not a selling point.
I felt that by introducing this into the conversation at such an early point he was trying too hard and trying to assert himself. I felt that it wasn’t necessary. I said “Oh right I have to go now” He said “you are very beautiful Lauren (I sort of liked how he remembered my name - girls like it when you use their name) – Please can I have your number.” I told him I didn’t own a mobile phone.
He said “I will give you my number then” and I said I couldn’t possibly take it. I have nowhere to put it. He should have stopped when I told him I didn’t have a phone. It made him look a bit desperate. I think if he had not been so quick to escalate the situation to number (retrieval?) within 1 minute - I would have been more susceptible… If I wasn’t seeing someone….