I have a friend who I genuinely believe could have any woman he wanted. He has dated film stars, models, dancers and TV personalities, and each and everyone has become mildly obsessed with him.

I attribute his success with women to three main points. Fearlessness, fun and talent. He is completely fearless. He approaches everything without caution. He never considers failure; he never thinks what will happen if this goes wrong, will I be humiliated will I be embarrassed. He doesn’t care. He has nothing to lose.

This confidence is so extreme it radiates to everyone around him. He makes you feel fearless too. He is tirelessly fun. He has built a reputation for being fun and he lives up to this. All the things you enjoyed as a child all the things you would love to do but feel its ridiculous or silly he will do.

The pursuit of fun is his main objective in everything he does.

I can recall a million incidents when he has turned up at my house with ropes suggesting we abseil down a tree, or pretend to be students and try and climb the BT tower or fancy dress outfits and wear them to an average night out. He pays attention to events and activities even if it’s a tea dance in church hall or cream teas and brass bands in the park and he’ll find the entertainment in every situation. It’s irresistible, Woman love being entertained.

And finally talent. Admittedly he is talented, but he maintains that you need something to offer women. You need a selling point. You don’t have to be an entertainer or a sportsman or a celebrity but you need a skill or a way to shine. That’s how you get the real 10s.

This report isn’t about him. The reason I mention him is because the musician reminded me of him.

When the musician walked into the bar I noticed his confidence, his calm and assured manner. His friend introduced me. He told me he was a talented musician who has been working with current pop stars. The wing works well because it made him seem modest.

He complimented me on my choice of drink and was holding an unusual drink. I asked him about it and he told me it was his favourite drink, after he had tried it in a bar in San Francisco where he was living.  I told him I had been to San Francisco and I loved it. He asked me to list my top 3 things I loved about the city. I like listing things, girls like lists. If you must use an opener like Paris or New York, when the girl says New York, I would challenge her. I would say “give me three  reasons why New York is better” it gets her talking and in recalling the memories or things she liked about the city it takes her back to positive moments and experiences. It builds a connection subtly. I told him Alcatraz, eating clam chowder out of bread bowl and the sea lions. He listened and enthused. He told me he loved sea lions and it felt genuine.

He found common ground. He stuck to this theme and asked if I had been to the zoo in San Diego. I told him I had and we talked about the tigers. He told me to look up a clip on you tube of a tiger who was raised by two guys in England. When he was released into the wild he still recognised them a year later. He told me it was extremely emotive and he felt himself welling up watching it. The admittance of vulnerability was attractive he pulled me into his confidence. I went away and watched the clip and when I did I thought of him. By suggesting I do this it kept him in my mind. If I had taken his number I would have texted him at this point to say I had watched it. By doing this it keeps interest, it imprinted him on my mind.  

We continued to talk about animals and he told me about rescuing a dog, he showed me photos on his phone he pulled me in by sharing these personal photos. He ensured he subtly flicked over a photo of a very attractive girl when finding this photo, which made me think he is desired by women. He told me a ridiculous story about his dog destroying his friend ‘a model – but who is very down to earth’ clothes. He made it clear that he is well liked by women.

All these techniques work in building attraction. Women like competition they don’t want someone who is easy or not a challenge. He slipped the odd sexual innuendo into conversation but not so overtly that it felt sleazy or forward. After a long while pretending I had no interest in his music career I finally caved and asked the question. He spoke animatedly and excitedly about it. He explained it hadn’t been easy that he had worked tirelessly to achieve this. That he had struggled for years but never gave up. I liked that he knew what he wanted and he sought to get it and he didn’t give in. I liked his passion. The talent heightened the attraction. We spoke for a while and almost everything he said was demonstration of higher value but never directly.

You have to understand how powerful this is. It works. Each and every story portrayed the fearlessness, the fun and the talent. You need to find stories that show this but it has to be subtle.  I would maintain that most of our interaction was text book, until he told me about his recreational drug taking. Maybe some girls find this attractive but for me this is a sign of weakness. I want someone who can have fun without relying on anything. I hate the connotations that this brings. In this instance I don’t believe he was actually gaming me, I think he was being friendly but I am writing this report to highlight the fact that even in a social interaction where the objective is not to get the girl it still works.

TonyT has briefly met these guys. He wanted to know more: exactly what goes through their heads and how they think – he wanted to know everything about them, all their stories, he wanted to learn all he can from them, and wanted to find out the things that make them both almost perfect ‘naturals’. TonyT is a natural – so to make him sit up and take note – these guys are something special, and someone to learn from.